one thing your daughter doesn’t need you to say | chatting at the sky

May 30, 2013

So what about being a leader and setting the example? Isn’t that a good thing? Isn’t that what parents and youth leaders tell students all the time?

The more I think about it, the more I believe this well-meaning statement is not only a manipulative way to try to control our daughters’ behavior, but can also be dangerous to their spiritual health. When we tell her to be an example, we may as well just hand her a mask right there “Here. Hide behind this. Don’t let them see you struggle.“

I know that’s not what we mean. I know. But it doesn’t matter so much what we mean, it matters what she hears.