Five years from now

May 9, 2009


At lunch recently, Kiera asked me what my goals are for five years from now. I’ll be 31, almost.

For much of the last ten years, I have spent my life dreaming about the future. Ways that I could experience and learn about God and walk with others toward that experience and learning, ways that I could express truth and beauty through design, and ways that I could walk in and love justice, peace, and mercy.

Often, during those last ten years, I have had specific goals in those areas. For example, I wanted to start a missional coffeeshop that formed a community where people could experience God if they desired, or just engage in conversation, or just enjoy really good espresso. For another, I wanted to run my own design business. For yet another, I’ve had this random hope that I’d come up with an internet product of some kind.

Recently, I’ve somewhat moved toward the goal of forming or being part of a missional community, though probably not in a coffeeshop. I’ve thought of being a designer for a strong organization, working for justice. Any number of related things have gone through m head.

I had hoped that I might be close to one or more of these goals by the time I was about to turn 26. But I’m not, really. I have some wonderful connections that might or might not lead to things. I have some great things that I can be a part of, and hopefully journey along with, though I still feel like I’m outside of most of them (which I’ve learned is a common feeling, of course).

So, as I sit here, not tangibly close to any of my goals, but within the realm of possibility of any of them, I didn’t know what to say to Kiera. That scares me a little. As I reflect upon it and write this, I think it is partly because I sit in that tension between not being tangibly close, but sitting within the realm of possibility.