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I wanted to announce that my dad has started blogging. I’ve told him for some time that he should do so. Feel free to stop by and give him encouragement in his new adventure, as he learns WordPress and the various things one must know in order to blog with it (categories, tags, posts and pages, linking to external sites, and so on will be entirely new things to him, for a little while).
My dad is an interesting guy. He and I disagree on a myriad of issues and have for a long time, but we typically have healthy disagreement. I don’t have to be afraid to tell him what I think, and vice versa. We also agree on some very important things. In any case, I think he has things to say, and should say them. Plus, blogging is fun.
As an aside, recently my wife and I attempted to take him to his first Yankees game at Yankee Stadium, since this is the last season it will be open. Various issues occurred, and he only got to see the 9th inning, but he did at least make it into the original Yankee Stadium before it closed. We’ll go to the new one another time.
My dad and I have a great relationship, and have tried to do things like that for each other. In any case, here is my welcome to the world of blogging.
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My wife and I have been married for just over four and a half years. We got engaged in May of 2003, and married on December 6, 2003. We were 20 years old.
I haven’t written a lot of marriage-related posts on this blog, but I have beginning thoughts of some things that I feel are worth saying. The first thing is something that I’ve observed since we were dating: very close relationships affect Christian spirituality.
When we first started dating, one of the things we immediately liked about each other was that we both wanted to honestly see what Jesus might have to say about, and contribute to, our relationship. We were careful to pray together, worship together, and include spirituality in our conversations.
During those times, we learned that it was much easier for us to get into stupid arguments if we let this dimension of our relationship slip. Since we’ve been married, the spiritual connections between us have only deepened, and this has proven to be both a good thing and a bad thing.
Prior to getting married, I was very much a solitary person. I was (and still am) perfectly content to eat alone, sit alone in class or church, go to concerts alone, and spend lots of time alone in thought, work, prayer, worship, etc. Since I’ve been married, though, I don’t have as much time alone. I share my meals, my thoughts, my events, and so on with my wife.
Where this begins to relate to “married spirituality” is in my struggles, sins, victories, and in the seasons of my life in the Spirit. I’ve often spoken about the seasons that we have in seeking to live a spiritual life. There are dry seasons, rainy seasons, mountain experiences, and valley experiences. All of these are valid, and they all exist whether one is married or single.
As a married person, though, I have learned that many, if not most, of my seasons coincide with those of my wife. If she is struggling with something, or finds it difficult to connect with God, it is very likely that I do also. If she is being obviously transformed, or is enraptured by his presence, it is very likely that I am also.
I don’t want to assume that all married couples are like this, but I also do not want to understate the importance of this concept. Only recently have I begun to honestly accept that this is the case and think about its implications: not that my spirituality depends on that of my wife or that we can blame our weaknesses on each other, but that our spiritualities are inextricably and, to an extent inexplicably, linked.
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When I was in high school and began getting to know Jesus, it was trendy to compare sharing one’s faith to having a cure for cancer that the world desperately needed. If only we would go out and tell people about our cure, they would come to us to receive it and be healed of their various deadly conditions. After all, what cancer patient would turn down an offer for a cure? Other popular comparisons were made to rescuers offering a lifeboat to people who were drowning, firefighters offering rescue from a burning building, and so on.
I very strongly wanted, and still very strongly want, to introduce Jesus to people that didn’t know him. I don’t remember ever using this kind of disease rhetoric when discussing faith with anyone, and I’m positive that if I did use it, it didn’t work and I would happily apologize to anyone with whom I may have used it.
Theologically, the idea of a cancer cure is not a bad concept. Humanity is messed up, and we all know it. I believe that one of the reasons that postmodernism exists is that modernism, with all of its science and objectivity and reason and knowledge, could not stop the most technologically advanced society of the 1930s from putting people into ovens. Following this time period, people earnestly questioned their knowledge and reason, and the idea of an innate human goodness.
Also, I don’t think there is a theological issue with the idea that Jesus can help us in our messiness. Many people, Christian and not, would agree for various reasons.
My issue is with the environment into which we are expected to put that concept. In post-Christendom, we as Christians are much more likely to be viewed as a cancer that needs a cure, contributing to the horror of the world in which we live, than we are to be viewed as people that might have a way to make the world a better place.
Especially in a conversation with a new friend or acquaintance, the idea that I have a cure or vaccine for the world’s problems because I’m a Christian is going to be met with ridicule at best, and a lifelong rejection of any consideration of Jesus at worst.
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Interesting news. N. T. Wright will be on The Colbert Report tomorrow night, Thursday June 19. Full episodes are available the day after the show airs.
My wife and I have not had cable since we’ve been married. For years, I’ve wished that I could have Cartoon Network, Comedy Central, and Nickelodeon without having to buy other channels that I don’t need.
Now, though, the recent addition of full episodes of The Colbert Report and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart allows us to watch all of the shows we like online.